I'm tired and as I say the words vapour escapes my soul as I confess the words. Tired of fighting my own fear, fed up with the sudden chaos and thoughts about my own calling as a writer. I've laid it down just to feel it snap at my heels again. A simple article used to take me a few hours and now, days go by and I add only paragraph or a single sentence.
I know these accusations at my writing may be part from the enemy, or maybe even part from me. Dissapointments and arrows have been flung at me the past few months, so maybe it's natural to feel this way and struggle to wipe the residue from this mind. I've laid it down, forgiven, let go, but still I'm not left with others opinions, but now I'm left with my own. And that is not even my own, the enemy seems to be using these past nasties against me. Not good enough. But how can that be, when this is who Father created me to be! I just want to overcome because I'm tired of living defeated in this area. And the truth is, it's a choice that I know, but to push against such thoughts with turbulent might, it's tiresome. All I can do here is pray and say "Abba please deliver me!"
STOP!
Linking with Five Minute Friday
Visiting you from 57! The enemy just loves us to be tired doesn't he? Truth brings freedom. Satan will try to do what he can to keep the truth from being spoken. Sounds like he's fighting you. Stay strong, continue fighting. It took be forever to actually get a blog started and start writing. I'm not doing it perfectly either, but I know God has called me to write, so I do the FMF exercises as a way to keep putting content on my blog. In this season, it is what works for me. Do what works. See writing one sentence as a victory. Set goals for yourself. Maybe it could be a progression of the number of sentences per day, but don't beat yourself up if you miss your goal for the day. Anytime you sit down to write truth is a victory. Keep going. God's on your side.
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