Boy I am such a mess, life has been off the top crazy for
about 3 weeks and not in your usual just physical crazy, I am talking about in
every way spiritual crazy. It’s not a matter of pride, it’s a matter of saying
here I am – I said yes to God and gave my all and buckled up to be on the front
lines, that was my choice. But sometimes it gets crazy, it gets mind spinning
out of control and I just sit on the floor and say hey – look over here I am a
mess. I get there, I get to that point – it’s a good point though because I
have been here quite a few times. It’s the point where the kettle is screaming
on the stove because it’s really hot and then someone goes and turns the switch
off and its finally relieved. That’s where I am at, ah breathe out and breathe
in – messy messy right here. I sit with it and its okay, it’s okay to read those
Psalms that keep on asking, that keep on whispering “Father where are you?” The strange thing about silence is that it’s
so quiet and you know what it’s okay because in Your silence I still feel so
loved but I am just really tired of the mess. I want to go to sleep and enjoy
the down time, I want to enjoy the sun and have that sense that everything will
be okay because inevitably it will. At the same time, I am in the boat and
riding the storm and somehow I am okay about being here, this is my place for
now and you know what it’s tough and I am messy but I am okay with it.
Visiting from FMF- thanks for sharing! I know these times when you feel like in the middle of the storm and it might never stop. But sometimes we need these times of steam and pressure- imagine a kettle: it has to boil "over", there has to be pressure- but in the end you have a nice cup of tea or coffee. I wish you the right perspective and that you experience a lot of god's presence in the midst of the storm. have a great weekend!
ReplyDelete- katha (http://thisiskatha.blogspot.de/2014/05/five-minute-friday-mess.html)
I'm right here with you! In the middle of this mess we call life, asking God to remind me that He is there in the midst of it with us. Needing Him to wrap His arms around me, and just when it seems I can't take a another moment of the mess I feel His presence and I'm at peace with it all. thank for sharing on FMF today!
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