Things I learned in April

1 – Lost in art. What was nice was coming back after the holiday and sensing that holiday excitement of seeing each other again. We were waiting to start on the same project and having to use the same desk, we had to wait for one another. Which meant time together and chatting, refreshing. Joined together to do the Memory Project, my soul did soar. Depth, I love depth. One lady shared about her experience and how being a part of this for the first time, was soul touching for her, she has an adopted child and it touched home. An elderly guy in his later 70’s joined the class a term ago, walking around to look at our pictures, he stopped at my desk. Another lady and I started talking to him and he opened up about being an orphan himself, it was incredibly difficult for him. I wanted to cry, the pain was obvious, I pray for Him to come to know Messiah and His saving Love. 

2 – I love diffusers! As in totally, have found a new love! They come in all shapes and sizes. My first one was a flower one and my new one is a bird one. I love the smells; I have also found that smell can have a calming effect on one. It can also calm and bless the room. 

3 – Thunderous clouds in the valley of low cloud. When the dark clouds are thick and there is no sunlight, it feels cold and dark. Yet when the clouds are darkest it is also when they are the fullest – the rain will come, the rain will come and bring with it mighty blessings again. In the words of my hubby “great things are coming for you boo, it’s coming soon.” Scriptures that comforted me – 2 Thess 2 and 3, Isaiah 42,

4 – Parallel emotions. A crisis within, a struggle in one area does not mean you are a broken mess, it means that we walk with parallel emotions. We can be struggling with one thing but be still happy, revitalised in another area, learning about yourself, healing, growing, seeing something in a new way. A new way of seeing. Parallel feelings, like holding an ice cream and a ham burger in two different hands. I want people to know that. I want people to realise that about life, we are complex and advice is not always needed, just the freedom space to say this is what I am struggling with and can I speak it out loud because I am fine and in need to say what is hard.

5 – Great things! Like getting a new dress for my brothers upcoming wedding, shopping which I haven’t done in a long time and getting my hair cut, what blessings.

6 – Redemption work. What started off as something that maybe did not function as part of the perfect plan for my life, is something that can be redeemed and turned around to become something great. Life is not this one-way track but it is a place of learning and growing. Feeling like I fell down meant I got scared to move forward and so I sat down, afraid of making wrong decisions, afraid of dishonouring God. But it has turned in to a place of good things, a redeemed place. A place where I can learn something new and see just how deep Gods Love is. How wide His encompassing mercy is, the deal is all about self – forgiveness, self – compassion. The open arms we offer to ourselves, the comforting arms we open to our own hearts and say “I love you, God forgives you and so do I, be free to be.” 

7 – In the beginning the earth was formless and void, completely empty and without form. Sometimes this is the shape life takes, confused about the next step, or a crisis of faith, a cross road, or a tragedy and yet it says that God’s spirit hovered off this void. I have drawn comfort in these words, the fact that whatever I have faced as a crisis over the past month, that is where God’s spirit hovers, even when I have felt alone.  Even when the “Footprints” story has felt so much like my own, I know it has not always been the truth, Yeshua carries me.  I am not alone, over this dark the Spirit of God hovers.

8 – Wonderful. Good news from my publisher, 8 weeks and my book is out! My author copies will be given to me in about 3 weeks and I cannot wait, I signed my contract 14 months ago, I wondered at it being so far away. Now I can finally grow excited. 

9 – Kitchen Tea’s are expensive! Tomorrow my mom and I will host my future sister in law’s kitchen tea,. I am looking forward to it but its been pricey in the midst of everything I have been doing. But I am looking forward to it, after 14 years they will finally be getting married oh yeah!

Your sameness is not the sameness of a rock, but the sameness of a faithful lover. Out of your love I came to life, by your love I am sustained and to your love I am always called back.  _ Henri Nouwen.