I squeeze my eyes shut and feel these many emotions, embracing all the feelings that make me me. That make me real and myself, just me. Hi there me, how are you today? I've been touched this week in many ways and part of that touching was a movie called Inside Out all about emotions. I can see why counsellors are using the story to help kids and adults and how we can all relate to Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. With my emotions on my sleeve, I have been thinking about Love, for sure it was not a featured emotion but definitely a driving one. It's never missing and God's Love, that's the most inportant one. As I sit back in to the arms of my chair this evening and begin Sabbath, I am in awe of many things, but mostly I am in awe of the Chest of God. Yeah, literally. I have been in a very different personal place that I have settled in to and when I need Papa, He is oh so there and I am happy to crouch and fall in His arms and rest my head against His chest. This place connects that space of joy and sadness and I am learning how those two emotions can be so very inter-related. Feeling God's peace and comfort, His awe - inspiring Love through these moments that are sad, it gives life new meaning. It gives me new eyes. It makes the tears personal not only to Me but to the Chest of God, the place where His gentle heart beats. The Love space, the very breath He breathe sit all comes from His Heart and it speaks.
I am grateful tonight for many things and true, at times gratefulness has been something we do or something we practice but truthfully I want my gratefulness to be a feeling. A connection to truth. The only way I can describe gratefulness is to connect it to awe, I cant seem to connect my feelings ro my mind to the word grateful, it sounds too cold, too overused. But awe, it gives this sense of the Divine, of the smile that shows I'm really pleased. To heart pounding amazing-ness that makes me warm all over and happy inside. Awe. So here's my awe realities...
Happy for peppermint bark and baking - yummy goods my hubby always asks me, why are you making these, who are they for? My hubs likes everything with a purpose, I like just being in the moment. It's something I have learned. So I answer with that sweet look on my face that always gets me a hubby hug. I'm not making them for anyone, I just made them for fun! *cue the Agnes face*
Love, I am learning so much....
Farming and lunch, family - visiting my brothers farm this Sunday for yummy pot roast and family time. Just the 6 of us, out on the stoep beneath the warm sun with cold glasses in our hands and connecting. I cannot wait.
Love - it is possible. Growing up in a turbulent home, God led me to a place of healing over a number of years. Having grown up without a deep relationship with my earthly father, the moment I stepped in to my healing, I was able to let go. No one should say it is not possible, today my father called, told me we have to come early on sunday so he can spend more time with me, he misses me. At the age of 26 when I was so ill years ago, he called told me he loved me after 26 years of never saying it. Today, I can tell you anything is possible with Yeshua.
This space for words - sometimes I have wondered what my blog is all for but the connections with beautiful sisters I have made over this space, has blessed me spirtually and has helped me grow. And the ability to help others through this space has meant so much. Today I choose to celebrate this space.
New Words, Unlocking - enjoying writing again, discovering more of me and realising I am writing because that is part of Our story, mine and God's. Seeing the new coming through and sharing in a new space, its bliss.
Hoping you will have an awe-some weekend and that you will be blessed in it all!