I was awake at 5:30am yesterday (Friday) morning, with so much on my mind and so much on my heart. My cat woke me up and then I just could not push back against all the feelings I had been carrying around, so I pulled the door closed and left hubby to sleep. I sat down on the couch with fluffy cat and started to have a much needed conversation with God. I just did not understand so many things that were taking place in my life. I could not understand how a project I had being working on for 2 years finally saw the light, and then was pushed back to next year. I could not push back the salt in my wounds or the pain in my heart.
I sat in that lounge and poured out my heart to God. Pouring out our hearts before the King, is in itself, deeply refreshing and I allowed the tears to fall freely. The sun started to come up and the landscape changed colour from black to blue. Kitty slept comfortably next to me and although I heard no scripture, or no loud booming voice, I felt a Hand on my shoulder. A Hand of comfort, Someone saying to me with tears in their eyes, "I understand." Unbeknown to me, it was what I needed. Quietly the bedroom door opened and my hubby appeared around the corner, it was 8am.
We had a cup of tea, some breakfast and then I felt my eyes grew heavy. Hubby tucked me in, handed me "the comforter" aka Baloo the Bear and within seconds I was asleep. I actually feel asleep with a smile on my dial and I woke up undisturbed, three hours later. I have not had such a good sleep like that in a very long time. Throughout the day, God did speak to me, allowing me to see greater things about myself then I had seen before. He showed me signs and pictures, and just allowed me to be comforted by sitting in His Heart of Love for me. Today, I am beginning to know how perfect His time is. We always say it like a mantra, but it's actually real for me. In part I am grateful for the season I find myself in, it has been hard and yeah I am real, praise God for that! We dont always have to spiritualise everything, God just wants us to say when it's hard and it's been hard! And it's deeply personal, because every season is, it's not always something we can share because our paths are so unique but God understands and I am grateful for His Hand upon my Shoulder.
Sharing with Velvet Ashes this week!