For a while I have been acutely aware of the word “perfectionism.”
While sojourning through the daily flow of contemporary life, I have noticed how many times people have referred to themselves as perfectionists. Having said this, I remember going for my very first job interview all those years ago. I recklessly practiced my facial expression sof calmness and control (surely these two ingredients are essential number 1’s on employer’s lists!) in front of the mirror. I was then told the employer was likely to ask me what are my strengths and weaknesses. I murmured, mumbled, fumbled and then shouted eureka! I had it! I would fold the two questions together, weakness what weakness, strength – now that I can do. The answer was “perfectionist!” It could be a weakness but it could also be a strength, undoubtedly and while I did get the job I grew in to my perfectionist jacket and I wore it well.
Until a few weeks ago. God has a perfect timing and while he sees his kiddy over here struggling, He always promises to lift the weight. Part of my weight was the reality of perfectionism in my life. I set the bar so high that while I was at times able to jump over it, I ultimately failed to grasp and take hold of many challenges which came my way, simply because I was convinced I would fail most of them. You see, that’s what perfectionism does. It sets you up to fail. Because perfect is not something that any of us can do. What we can do is – use what you got and entrust the rest to God. Well, that is all that is within our grasp to do on a daily basis.
I must tell you that I am sick of perfectionism and I must tell you that God is not finished working it out in me but I am 80% of the way there. Today, I had to do a recording and while I felt it was not good enough – I am not here to be perfect, I am here to be an tool of God’s and that for me is enough. If my shaking voice which sounds crazy to my own ears – can set people free in their suffering, would I have not fulfilled the task God has created me for?
I am sincerely hoping that there are others out there like myself. Others who struggle to overcome their fear of “perfectionist failures.”
It is easy to pray and ask Father to work in you so that you may become all you were created to be, but it’s a completely different story to start to face the slick, crazy hands of human nature which still hold you back. I am sticking out my chocolate smudged finger at the enemy and saying “no more!! No more will you lie to me about myself, no more will I buy in to the worlds idea of perfection. No more will I succumb to a lesser view of myself – no I am wonderfully made and awesomely Gods. I am sick of fearing failure and sick of perfectionism. There I said it and now I am standing. Mama always says “tell the truth and shame the devil!” No now – God has me on His side and underneath His wings, He is working this out in me.
Beloved, I want to encourage you to look at your life and see how many times you have set yourself up for failure simply because you did not believe you had it in you to triumph? Even if man doesn’t recognise the best in you, so what. Yahweh does! And He says “this child of mine, she or he has made me so proud because he or she is doing the best they can and that makes me smile.” Yahweh is such a happy, beaming papa when we just take some baby steps, He doesn’t want us all perfect, He just wants us. And I am not giving the world perfectionism because in their deluded state of so-called perfect, they think they don’t need God. Knowing we are not perfect but that God is, keeps us in the place of safety, in the place of humble submission and deep leaning on the arm of the King and that I figure is a great place to be.
I am with you in this humanly state of “imperfectionism” and we are carrying our freedom together! HalleluYah!